• Lord Ashcroft's missus finds she's got a bit of loose change to the tune of quarter of a million quid knocking around in her Chanel purse and gives it to that most noble cause: the Tories. Would it pass the Daily Mail test, d'you think?;
• Speaking of the Mail, that noble organ of record has a horrifying story about how The Paedophiles are watching YOUR KIDS through their internet screens;
• Phil Cowley's predictably excited about the Heathrow Ten Minute Rule Bill vote, and gives his view here. Different strokes, eh?
• Cath Elliott's a bit perplexed by Amnesty's latest poster campaign. So are we, come to think of it;
• The Liberal Conspiracy has A Dummies Guide to the Cabinet and How it Works;
• ... and Paulie comes up with the ultimate definition of a liberal: a Tory who's been arrested. Class.

The day kicked off with all the drama and excitement one expects at the any meeting of the Home Affairs that winsomely touselled Boris Johnson deigns to speak at. His contention that those police chaps had no bally right to investigate politician chaps over breaking the law caused an initial buzz of excitement around Westminster with wags suggesting that they jack in this representation of the people lark and turn the 1 Parliament Street and Norman Shaw buildings into crack houses ... until it became clear that the ancient privilege of Don't You Know Who I Am should only apply to Conservative politicians.

Then he managed to confuse himself over what precise time he had mentioned to Cameron that Damian Green was going to get fingered by plod: was it after Green's arrest, at 3pm whilst they were both at Southwark Cathedral (at a memorial to Damilola Taylor) on the day of the arrest or three hours earlier at 12pm just before the Police State hoved into the courageous MP's office? BoJo seemed to change his mind, but happily for Andy Coulson's spin operation the meedja swallowed Boris' nice little line about the Gord throwing a wobbly at the memorial and telling Boris he had to sit at the back rather than at the front with the grown ups (what relevance this had to the Committee the Lord only knows). This version of ecclesiastical events was subsequently denied by Number 10, but why - as with everything about this affair - let the facts get in the way of good copy?

Meanwhile across the pond, Foreign Secretary David Miliband met with Hilary Clinton with whom he presumably has more in common with than either would care to acknowledge (think about it, folks), whilst back in Blighty the Tories are having their own issues with foreigners and their attitudes towards them with regard to the wildcat strikes.

And finally, having informed the nation that it can rest easy in the event of a Tory victory as Carol Vorderman will be at the helm, one of Kerry McCarthy's commentators wonders who Dave's next appointment will be:

In other news, the Conservatives have announced that experienced TV judge Simon Cowell will head up a new review of the criminal justice system and Thomas the Tank Engine is beginning work on a document to be presented at Conservative party conference on how high speed rail can form the basis of a new regional transport strategy.

Great stuff.